Was channel surfing last night and paused for a few minutes to watch a TV show with Ray’s wife from Everyone Loves Raymond and the janitor from Scrubs. He was looking for a job – at a septic company. I must have come in late but I am assuming he was coached on how to appear enthusiastic during a job interview.

You’re cleaning crap out of a hole in the ground. Yeah, someones got to do it; but how the heck do you get enthusiastic about sewage? About feces?

Organizations seeking to keep employees happy usually tell me stories about how hard people work. When I arrive I also see how people seem to lose their identity when their foot steps through the workplace door; how they appear somewhat robotic. I believe the greatest value an employee has to offer his or her employer is their true identity.

I’ve worked in public accounting, agriculture, cement, travel, cosmetics and human capital. That’s just a bit of my past. Of all those industries the only one I really enjoyed was the travel industry; partially because I got to travel to our branch locations to really see what our business had to offer and how creative travel professionals can be. But mainly because I also got to play (be creative) with them in designing new and innovative programs. It was a lot of fun. I couldn’t get excited about lip gloss or cement. The coffin-sized cement slab when I walked off the elevator actually freaked me out.

Yesterday I launched a new company; a nonprofit dedicated to feeding the hungry. Check it out at http://onelessmeal.org. With a partner we opened a Virtual Diner where you order off a menu and you Don’t Eat It; but rather you Donate It! We’ve been having a blast. Why? Because it’s fun and we get to do something good. I got to create the very thing I talk to audiences about – designing a workspace and workplace where people look forward to contributing their personal identity.

What’s your personal identity? Is it really coming out in the workplace or is it being stifled by rules and policy that are keeping you from adding ROI to your organization. This is the conversation that needs to be occurring. This is the concept that I encourage Top Execs and HR Professionals to take a look at. How do you tap into each and every piece of human talent in your organization to create something exciting, fun, innovative and different. What really is the best role for every person in an organization? I think sometimes we forget why we hired someone. Did we hire them to be a programmer; or did we hire them because we liked something about their personality? You saw a company fit. So maybe their programming skills were not what you thought. Is there another place for this person in the organization? There just might be; after all you saw something in that person when you offered them that position; something more than a programmer. Figuring out how to best use people is what smart companies are doing to create exciting workplaces. 

Or you can continue to let the robots wander aimlessly. Up to you.

P.S. He didn’t get the job; even the guy hiring him could not believe he was that enthusiastic about feces.

The Top 50 Great Places to Work in Canada was just released. Is your company on the list? Probably not. Probably because most of you reading this are not in Canada.

But it got me thinking about those Top Whatever lists. Does it mean your company sucks if you don’t make a list? Just because you didn’t meet some criteria that was created by some organization; that your company didn’t fit a mold, template or model; does that mean your place of work is not great? Shame on you. Try harder next year.

So enough with my sarcasm. I’ve always believed that Great Places To Work are individual. Let’s face it, how can two people at the same company be on complete opposite sides of a discussion when it comes to what the company does to keep employees happy; to make their workplace a great place to work.

Years ago I worked for a concrete company. Our VP of Administration walked the building every morning at 8:30 to see who had or had not arrived. How messed up is it when people are turning on lights and computers in a friend’s office and spreading papers on a desk to give an appearance? We worked long hours when it wasn’t necessary and leaving before 7:00 PM was frowned upon. If you were seen socializing or having some water cooler chat you were immediately interrupted by your superior with an “urgent request.” You were encouraged to have the Controller’s secretary order your lunch each day. Layoffs were a best practice at this company. But the kicker…..an employee who was going through a very bad divorce; that included domestic violence was not allowed to take time off to move when the judge okayed it. This wasn’t work – it was prison.

So why were people there for 15 and 20 years? Yes, they paid employees well; but at what expense to your sanity? And yes, I know it is work and you are expected to be there. But bed check? Cutting off all socialization? When you keep people together in closed spaces for that long a period of time each week you better let them socialize! I’m sure the best places to work do so.

After 6 months I knew this was a bad place to be – for me.

My point: Every company has its challenges. Every company has way too many rules and policies that too often keep people from being engaged and happy. Every company has been tightening the purse strings and asking employees to sacrifice; even the Great Places To Work. To me it has always been about finding those sweet spots in your work that get you jumping out of bed every day; that get you excited to be part of your team. That’s what makes a workplace great.

So just in case your place of work isn’t considered an Official Great Place To Work I offer you these ideas:

• Is it your relationships with customers that make you happy?
• Are the people you work alongside the source of this great place?
• Is the work challenging?
• Does your work offer opportunity to use your creativity and know-how to make a difference?
• Have you found the opportunities to learn and grow on a regular basis?
• Have you made connections with not only important people, but interesting people in your organization?  
• Do your opinions matter?

These are just some of the criteria that I offer you before you to look at before you send your resume off to a new employer. Take some time to develop a list of your own that would make your workplace a great place to work – for you. 

I’m not knocking the Top 50 and Top 100 Great Places to Work lists that come out on a regular basis. They offer value and give every company something to strive for. I just want to make sure you’re not walking around the office feeling like you’re missing out on something. Trust me; even those great places have people who think their job and company suck. And if that is the case…….

Who is really in the better place to work?

What if employee morale and employee engagement were part of every job description. What if in addition to words like analyze, prepare, oversee, monitor, collaborate, and review we saw words like build morale, institute fun, and engage coworkers throughout the organization? What if a key role of every job description was to keep employees happy? What would that look like?

Clearly there would not be a spreadsheet or a piece of software that could do that? Clearly to keep employees happy we would need to spend less time analyzing and more time keeping people happy. We would need to stop preparing for building morale and actually start doing some morale building. We would not need to monitor and review morale. Smiles, low absenteeism, people showing up to work on time, and low turnover would be as clear as day. You would not need a task force if every employee knew it was his or her responsibility from day one.

What would it look like if everyone’s job included keeping employees happy? 

Might we have to start providing interesting workloads? Might we need to make their work, dare I say it, Fun? Might we have to be open and honest in our communication? Might we have to not only listen to people’s ideas, but actually implement some of them? Might we allow people’s creativity to be expressed in their work; even if their work is mortgage appraisals or accounting or something else deemed drab, boring or dull? Might we need to offer a regular “Recess” of sorts to get people engaged; an opportunity for professional development? What would it take to keep employees happy?

Remember, our mantra for 2010 is Every Employee Happy. Every Day. Every Employee Engaged. Every Day. If it was part of your job to make sure your coworkers were happy, what would you do?

Now go do it. You don’t need a job description to tell you how or why to do a good thing.

Every Employee Happy. Every Day.

Every Employee Engaged. Every Day.

Some of you have seen the above on my email signature. If you haven’t; I’m putting it out there right now for the rest of the world to see. It’s what I’m striving for beginning January 1, 2010

Can we do it?

Of course not. I’m a dreamer. A cheerleader. I’m unrealistic. It is also “helpful” that some people were destined to be miserable; and sadly…. enjoy being miserable. What is up with those people anyway; and I still say we should start one company and just let them all work there. We can call it MISERInc. Use bailout money if we have to; that would be a good use of funds; keeping the miserable people at bay has got to have value. But I digress. 

Now in addition to miserable people some companies are just not as committed to the idea and philosophy of a happy and engaged workforce. But then there are others like McDonald’s, Iroquois Pipeline and Covidien, organizations that I had the opportunity to work with this year. They believe it needs to be done. They recognize the importance of celebrating success and contribution. They understand that to keep employees happy and get people engaged/re-engaged in their work requires a commitment to the talented people who work in those organizations.

Will you join me?

So what will it take to keep every employee happy? To keep every employee engaged?

• Will it take money?
• Will it take embracing more expression of individual creativity in people’s work?
• Will it take fewer policies and rules?
• Will it take a work environment that lends itself to happiness?
• Will it take workload redesign?
• Will it take allowing people to change roles?
• Will it take better communication and listening?
• Will it take respect?
• Will it take a commitment to training?
• Will it be the responsibility of both the employee and the employer?
• Will it take……………………?

I’ve been reading lots of information this year about pay cuts and benefit reductions by companies large and small. Let’s be clear that these are not coming back anytime soon; perhaps at all. Do I need to repeat that for the other unrealistic ones? They are not coming back. But then again I’m unrealistic; so maybe they will come back? Just like the income tax in CT is to be abolished. We were told a long long time ago it was just temporary. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

But now more than ever is time to encourage professional growth and development and to include more people in the process of making your organization great. Flatten the chain of command. Knock down the secret meeting doors and join me in 2010 as I embark on a motto/credo/vision of Every Employee Happy. Every Day. 

So the only question that remains is……….

Are you up for the task?

Go ahead, ask your employees/co-workers to name three companies in your region that seem like cool, fun, or exciting places to work and why they think that is the case. Now ask them what your company needs to do to become one of those three. Then ask yourself what can or will you do to make that happen.

Everyone is looking forward to 2010. It is amazing how many think on January 1^st all will be better. The recession will be gone. Companies will start hiring. Foreclosures will be on the downswing. Credit will loosen up.

I’ve got news for you; probably not going to happen. This bumpy ride is not going to miraculously smooth out overnight. But there is one thing I know for sure……..In order to keep employees happy and engaged, employers will need to do a few things. Here are just three of many I am pushing for in 2010. They won’t require much of a budget; but they might bring about employee loyalty – something every CEO and HR Executive is looking for these days.

• Be flexible. And I’m not talking flexible hours; I’m talking flexibility. People understand that times are different; some might even say tough. They understand what leaner times mean. They understand what more with less means. Now Mr. or Ms. Boss/CEO/VP/Manager needs to realize what it means. It means not watching the clock. It means relaxing some of the rules that even you know make no sense. It means giving them time to get personal things done – perhaps during the “traditional” workday. After all, to keep employees happy you need to remember that they have a life that needs tending to on occasion.

Action Step: Identify one or two individuals who seem to always be in the office. Give them a couple of hours off this afternoon. Tell them to go do some holiday shopping or just enjoy the sights of the season.

• Stop the gossip! Workplace gossip has grown out of control; to the point where some organizations now have No Gossip policies. I don’t think this is a bad idea. But a no gossip policy is not about slapping people’s hands and disciplining people for water cooler chat; a workplace gossip policy must be about Truth in Communication. Employees need to be allowed to ask questions, feel free to ask questions, and expect they will receive honest and truthful answers – no matter how bad the news may be. Remember, information is not power; information is opportunity to keep employees happy, loyal and engaged.

Action Step: Gather your team together and formulate a No Gossip policy. This should not be difficult, not require a task force and should be implementable within 24 hours.

• Opportunities to learn and network. I recently spoke to a group of HR Executives and questioned them as to how they could see the value of outside networking yet not have a similar program available to every employee within the organization. The looks were everywhere from “he’s right” to “how dare I say that to them?”  I wanted an answer as to why it was it okay for them to attend a monthly meeting (and on company time in many cases) of their peers, yet most people in their organization were not offered the same opportunity. While some companies might seem to think that leaner times mean reducing or eliminating the training/networking budget, there are companies who disagree. Trust me, your employees will be seeking jobs at those companies soon – very soon.

Action Step: Ask every employee to identify a low or no cost opportunity for them to learn or network. Schedule their first one for early 2010

If you want your business to thrive and your customers to be happy in 2010 you need to start talking about what you can do to keep employees happy. These three ideas should be a start.  Are you up for the task?

When I enter a retail establishment, hotel, or restaurant often times there are signs that welcome me. I’ve seen signs that read Welcome, We’re glad you’re here, or Please tell us what we can do for you today. There are times when I walk into a corporation and I see a welcome sign or marquis listing for someone important who might be visiting that day. It seems that many companies make an investment in welcoming guests/visitors/customers.

Now in most of the retail cases I wish they would just leave it at the sign and then leave me alone. Like the other afternoon for instance I was navigating a Pier 1 Imports store, trying to spend a gift certificate someone had given me, and I could not seem to race down an aisle or into a corner where some perky little employee couldn’t wait to help me. As a quick aside, to my female readers; don’t give a guy a gift certificate to Pier 1. The smell alone when you walk in there is enough to make us want to gag. Worse is then going home to your spouse or the other guys and have to explain why you smell like potpourri. But I did buy a cool bird carrot peeler and a purple (my favorite color) baking dish.

So these signs started to get me thinking……

How come employees aren’t welcomed to work? Wouldn’t it be great if you walked in the door and it said:

Welcome to Work! We’re Glad You’re Here!

Or perhaps

Welcome to Work! We’re Proud of Your Contribution!

Or perhaps

Welcome! You matter!

Or perhaps

Yay! You Came Back to Play with Us Today!

Why is it that we invite and thank customers into our places of business but there aren’t signs thanking the people who keep those customers coming back………Or coming at all?

Companies are always looking for ways to keep employees happy; a great way – and it’s cheap – is to thank them.

It’s not that hard to keep employees happy. And it doesn’t have to be expensive. But a thank you or a pat on the back on a regular basis makes a huge difference in the minds of the people who keep your company running. When was the last time you thanked someone?

So let’s continue our dream…………

Imagine as you were leaving work each day you read signs like………

Thanks for your contribution!

Or

You rock!

Or

Thanks for your enthusiasm and ideas!

Or

Yay! It’s still light out and you’re going home!

Now I do have to say when I walked into a client location a while back and saw my name on their lobby marquis I was pretty excited. Why not have a marquis that thanks employees. It could be random names in a slideshow type format running at the exits. Perhaps people could nominate others for a significant contribution they made that week. People would be excited; seeing their name or the name of someone they nominated. Nah, skip that idea; my concern is we would get back into the Flavor of the Month or the top performers only. I think everyone that walks through the door needs to be recognized and thanked for their contribution: the CEO, cleaning staff, administrative types; managers; everyone!

I also think you would need to change the signs or marquis text on a regular basis; because after a while they would become meaningless to the people walking in and out the door. You can form a committee or task force to come up with fun sayings. The life of this committee should be two hours; not two months.

Try it and watch the reaction. It’s really not that hard or that expensive to do something to keep employees happy. Make it part of your daily to-do list.

There was a time when Black Friday actually didn’t start until 9:00 AM. Then it went to 8:00 AM; then 7:00 AM.

Soon Black Friday started at 5:00 am; and in recent years Black Friday sales started at Midnight!

Tuesday night I found myself in JCPenney; my friend needed to pick up a piece of jewelry that was being repaired. We were engaged in conversation with the salesperson about Black Friday. Here is what she shared:

• The store would be opening at 4:00 AM; she needed to be there at 3:00 AM to get the diamonds into the counter
• Every employee would be working that day
• Every employee would be working a ten hour shift
• Every employee would only be given a thirty minute break during that ten hour shift

First of all there is nothing I need or want that badly to get me up and at the store at 4:00 AM. There is nothing I need or want that badly that would get me to line up at midnight for a sale. Remember the trampling death on Long Island (NY)? I’ll pay an extra $8 for something in order to stay alive; or maybe I really wasn’t supposed to have it in the first place.

But I do think of all those retail employees who are working today – and harder than a lot of people who sit at a desk. Refolding what people unfolded and didn’t like. Re-hanging all those clothes that didn’t fit – you haven’t been that size since third grade. Picking up what people threw on the floor. Restocking shelves. And of course smiling and wishing everyone Happy Holidays; when in some cases there were two others words that would have been their first choice.

I think about the verbal abuse that some of those employees will take today. Out of stock items. People who left their coupons at home. And people who are just looking to get everything for free.

If you’re a retail management employee, please give your team lots of recognition and praise during this holiday season. Thank them for their patience. smiles, lack of sleep and customer service. It will keep them engaged and working hard for you.

And then there will be the employees who absolutely love the chaos, craziness, and disorder. There are people who thrive on those things. They’ll be smiling and laughing at the mess and uptight customers. They’ll be laughing at people who got up at 4:00 in the morning to find out their item was already out of stock……………….

Already out of stock???? Right when the doors open??? Yep.

You see, JCPenney (and I’m sure others) had one register set up for Black Friday when we were in the store on Tuesday night. So if you couldn’t make the 4:00 opening (or were smart and stayed as far away as possible) you were able to purchase your item on Tuesday; just not take it home; and come pick it up at your convenience. Works for me.

So while a whole bunch of people are “enjoying” the craziness of mall parking lots, crowds of people and traffic jams, I slept in late and am eating leftovers. Pie and coffee for breakfast was delicious!

If you’re at work, look around. Who is smiling? Who is not? Who looks, well…… just plain pissed off?

A recent survey by Right Management shows an alarming statistic regarding the percentage of people who are so frustrated with their current position and company that they are ready to jump ship. Do you think that number is:

1. 25%
2. 60%
3. 82%
4. 41%

The number is 60%. And while turnover might be a good thing in bringing about innovation and creativity, imagine losing 60% of your team. Imagine if 60% of your people needed to be replaced next year? Do you have the manpower to take on this task? Think about how much time, training, $$$, and energy this is going to take.

But worse yet, imagine the 40% who remain and need to pick up the workload while the interview process drags on to replace 60% of their peers. Yikes!

Frightening thought? It should be. And it should not be taken lightly.

But there is another solution………….

Start reinvesting (right now) in your current talent. It’s beyond the 11th hour here. Companies need to do something. Here are a few immediate and easy to implement ideas to instantly begin to re-engage employees:

• Communicate openly about what is going on in the company
• Offer some training and professional development.
• Institute some fun - and fast
• Rethink that cancelled holiday party (see my post of Nov 16)
• Act now on employee work and lifestyle concerns and determine ways to address and accommodate
• Set clear career path plans with as many people as possible and take immediate and regular steps to ensure they are met
• Download and distribute (even to your friends in other companies) my free 2 page document on what employees and managers are looking for in one another. Click here 

Now stop reading and get to work. The person to your right and your left are thinking of leaving. Or maybe you are??

My friend was amazed at me last night. We went to see 2012 and I actually stayed awake for the whole movie. You see, I don’t watch much television or go to the movies; I tend to fall asleep. There is just something hypnotic about those screens. Or maybe the quality of the show or movie sucked? This one obviously kept my attention.

Well if you’re not aware of this, the world is supposed to end on December 21, 2012; at least according to the Mayans; as that is the day their calendar ends. It couldn’t possibly be that the Mayans got bored with the calendar project, figured it would be a fun evil joke to mess with future generations’ heads, or maybe they had ADD? But according to the Mayans we’ve got a little over 3 years to live and Hollywood took advantage of the story.

• 10.5: Apocalypse rip

Now I won’t tell you about the movie, I want to be fair to those who have not seen it (I hate people who tell me the ending of a book or movie; except of course Titanic: They sink.), but one of the things that struck me the most was a theme running through the movie about telling the truth.

What has happened to being honest? If you’re a fan of House M.D., you’re familiar with the phrase “Everyone lies”; and I agree with that, everyone does lie. But the magnitude of lies in this world seems to be getting larger and larger. Governments lie. Employers lie. Employees lie. Families lie. Spouses lie. Board members lie. It’s enough to get you……………well wanting to crawl under a rock………or perhaps wish it was December 21, 2012 and the Mayans are right!

Someone, a friend, recently lied to me and I’ll tell you it’s still not sitting right with me. You start to wonder what else this person has not been truthful about. You start to wonder if you did something wrong that this person did not feel comfortable enough to share the truth with you. You start to wonder about so many things; especially like why they keep up with the lies even when caught. I don’t get it.

I am hearing more and more stories about people who are just willing to toss away a relationship, a company or a country to save their own face. Sickening and sad. People are becoming less and less engaged in their work, their community, and their loved ones. What has happened to truth and honesty? I’m starting to lose faith in a lot of people and entities. But I guess the good news is that I only have to put up with it for another 1,119 days.

Or maybe people can start telling the truth? Care to join me in forcing the issue to get them to do so? Perhaps we can start re-engaging people together?

U Turn download

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas ipod

• Another You movie

Everyone is looking at budgets. Everyone is trying to stay in business. And when you look at places to cut budgets and save, the holiday party is usually first on the list to go.

Bad decision. Very Bad Decision.

Last I was told the purpose of a holiday party is to show thanks, celebrate successes and bring people together to increase morale and employee engagement.

I don’t care how tight your budgets are………..if you’re still in business these days you have a lot to be thankful for and a lot of successes to celebrate. Now more than ever is when you need to bring people together. Any sane employee understands that we are in tough times and will understand that perhaps the company party might not look like it used to; but below are some great ideas to at least get you thinking about what it can look like:

• The Omen ipod

• How about a pot luck?
• How about a Happy Hour – without alcohol; hire a local clown or magician to come in and do their thing for an hour. It will make your people happy.
• Go ice skating, sledding or roller skating – depending on the climate where you live
• Hold smaller departmental celebrations; perhaps holiday breakfast at a local coffee shop or eatery
• Take the gang down to a local shelter, food bank or convalescent home and do some service
• Open your home for some good ole fashion camaraderie
• Own a vacation home and you supervise a small department? Give each person in your group a weekend away.
• Check out 50 Ways To Have Fun At Work. Use one of those ideas and tweak them into a holiday celebration that says thanks.
•  Host an awards ceremony i.e. The Santa Claus Award for the person who can satisfy so many co-workers or customers the fastest. Or The Dreidel Award for the person whose words and rhetoric get people’s heads all dizzy. I think you get the point. Have fun with it.
• Take a Recess and have some fun. Check out Recess At Work Day for ideas – and start practicing now for June 17, 2010.
• Cookies and milk? People seem to be baking this time of year. How about a week of smaller celebrations? Designate 3:00 PM for cookies and milk for a week and just talk and laugh. Share funny family holiday stories.

Well those are some things to get you thinking. Yes, it’s tough out there. Really tough. Don’t you think the people you work alongside or supervise deserve some sort of a break. And don’t you as an employee or employer want a stronger and more engaged team? It won’t get any cheaper than this!

And who is going to organize this? You know who in the department would be the perfect person. Go ask them right now.

The Breastford Wives full movie

download Dolan’s Cadillac