It’s that time of year again; so time for a revisit to an old topic…………….
October is just about here and I have begun the process of Fall Housekeeping.
Now Fall Housekeeping is not what you think. You won’t see a rake, broom, mop or dust rag anywhere in sight. Comforters don’t get changed. Leaves do not get bagged. Clothing does not get moved from bedroom to attic. Fall Housekeeping involves removing people from my life who need to go. Yes, PEOPLE!
Don’t call the police – YET. There will not be a homicide in a town near Rich. More often than not I will bump people off verbally – in person (or email).
Are relationships important to you? Do you work hard on them? Really hard? I work hard on the relationships that matter and I usually find that the person on the other end of that relationship is working equally as hard; if not harder. But aren’t there those people in your life who are always a downer. No matter what is going on they can’t smile, laugh, or make a happy comment. And as much as I try, even I at some point make the decision that this is not healthy for me any longer. So last week, after several years of dealing with someone who was self-absorbed, self-centered and cared only about themselves, I began cleaning house. I would have liked to have done it in person but every conversation we ever had usually involved me being cut off. So Fall Housekeeping began with an email. Good-bye it was.
But this year Fall Housekeeping will have to be expanded to include Social Media. Boy you learn a lot about people on Facebook, Twitter & Linkedin. Some people are always miserable; and I’ve become an ace at filtering misery from sarcastic humor. Some people are always pointing out bad examples and negative examples of anything and everything. Others just spend the day pointing out how wonderful and marvelous they are. Now I’m not perfect; and I’m not saying that I don’t post some comments that might fall into these categories; but for some it is nothing but nonstop negativity, promotion and doom/gloom.
Fall Housekeeping is a year long process for me; it just culminates with the beginning of fall. I find it appropriate as relationships are about to fall off. I always let people know why I am removing them from my life. And while some people think this is harsh, almost all people who I share this with agree it is a good idea; most just don’t have the courage to do it. Do you? Who in your life really is just too much work at this point?
So this year I will be undertaking Fall Housekeeping……… Social Media Style; and in the spirit of fun (and my sanity) I will be unfriending, hiding you, or Linking you out if:
- You’re always whining about your kids/spouse/ex-spouse/etc. (please remember they have YOU to deal with; and my gut is your little apple didn’t fall far from his or her precious parent tree)
- You’re always whining about work. (thank god you’re not on my payroll or live in MI where unemployment is 15% I was told)
- You’re always whining about travel issues (they’re not going away; learn how to laugh at them or laugh with/at the people who are feeling your pain. I do. Or bring a book with you.)
- You’re always trying to sell me something. (Yes, it gets old hearing about your book, service or product on a daily basis. It’s overkill. And my gut is that if you need to mention it all the time it might not be such a great seller. Perhaps you should give me something first; then maybe I might be interested in what you’re selling)
- You’re always looking for information, ideas, stroking, validation and help; but never seem to return the favor. (Hey, I need to be stroked too!)
- You’re very vocal about the flaws of your government but offer no solutions or help. (There are political signs on lawns everywhere. I still don’t see your name on one?)
So yesterday morning 5 “friends” on Facebook became victims of Fall Housekeeping – Social Media Style; I hid them – it’s less harsh than deleting. I stopped following two people on Twitter and LinkedOut from one person. What a great morning it was to open my Facebook home page and read fun, funny, and happy things going on in the lives of my “friends.” Out walking the dogs at 6:30AM I read tweets that made me laugh and smile. And who knows what’s going on at LinkedIn; I haven’t been there yet.
I just returned from speaking at a Parks and Recreation Conference where everyone in attendance was having a good time. I point that out because in a state where unemployment is so high and the economy has stopped because of one industry I saw joy, happiness and laughter. I made new friends; and my gut is that these friends will not part of Fall Housekeeping in the near future. Pick and choose wisely. Bring people into your life that make you smile, laugh and learn. But I think the biggest thing I can offer you this issue is this (and it is from my friend Betsy F.)……………..
“We all change. We grow in different directions and the people you are with today may not and/or should not be there in the future.”
I think she’s pretty smart. And it opens up the world to new, fun, exciting experiences and people.